A few years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I went through a stressful time – relationship troubles, I couldn’t find a job, I had to move back in with my parents. I didn’t cope with it very well. Lying in bed one night, I started to feel like my heart was beating a lot faster than normal. The more I noticed this happening, the worse it got, until I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.
This was the start of a couple of years of suffering with generalised anxiety, a condition which manifested itself in many ways for me. I suffered panic attacks, depression, anxiety and most notably a condition called depersonalization disorder. It was pretty scary at the time: in fact, I thought I was going mad.
I tried a lot of different things in a bid to get better. I saw doctors and psychiatrists, I took medication, I bought courses and books and CDs that all claimed to offer a solution to the symptoms of derealization and depersonalization. Some of these things helped (the Linden Method was one of them) some didn’t.
It’s a few years later now, and the good news is: I’m fine. I lead a normal life, and I’m happy and productive. If you suffer from this disorder, I’m here to tell you this: you’ll be fine too. You’re not going mad, and there is a way out.
This website aims to offer some insight into my experiences, a bit of advice, and recommendations for things you can try. It’s not going to give you one single cure, but it will hopefully point you in the right direction, and obviously it’s hugely important that you consider going to see your doctor if you recognise any of the symptoms I talk about here.
You can read my articles here, which will be updated regularly. But before you go head off there, I’ve one final thing to say, just in case you’re wondering whether it’s going to be worthwhile taking some time to browse through this site (there are lots of sites like this out there, right? So what makes this one so special?)
The one great truth
In the years I’ve spent coping with this condition, I heard a lot of people telling me I’d be fine. The problem I had with that advice was this: I never divulged the true extent of my fears about my condition to people, because I was too ashamed. I really thought I was going mad. When you feel like you’re going mad, no amount of people telling you that you’ll be fine is going to help.
But I wasn’t going mad. I came through it. And I live a wonderful, enriching life now. And you know: it really wasn’t that difficult, looking back. At the time it felt like a struggle: but if I can do it, I’m 100% certain that you can too.
So I’m going to say this to you now, and you know you can take it to heart (I hope) because you know I’ve felt the way you do right now.
You’re not going mad. You will get through it. You will lead a normal life.